Like most interactive circumstances that we come across in our everyday lives, girls too appear with their defense shield intact. They are "on guard" most of the time. But to reach her heart (along with other areas too), you need to break that shield or loosen that defense mechanism.

So what are the common concern areas of a lady? Why does she pull up her defenses? To start, you can find two primary areas where she finds herself vulnerable. One is her physical well-being and the other, her mind. There's a concept known as "mental rape" as well, you know.

But then, defense mechanisms are all but natural in human beings as a race. We guard our identities; we protect our bodies and our minds from outward assaults by creating defenses.

Not always with armor and battle gear, but we do that with our ego too! Think of a regular business deal, where occasionally, more than one player battles against the other, by using their superior or inferior ego.

One man makes a comment from his ego to another who's in another ego state. The receiver of the comment interprets it as a harsh criticism, mainly because he has viewed it from his personal ego state and so on. Situation escalates further and as it occurs most of the time, a verbal battle is started.

Now, does it not sound familiar? It takes place in man-woman relationships too!

There are a few ways to solve this however; one of the most effective ways that I've come across is to use free chat and date sites. Many individuals use chat and date sites to locate people that are compatible aesthetically and mentally. Maybe you just haven't found your ideal match and need to try online date chat services.

You may also begin looking at any situation from the other person's perspective. It's all about the perspective, as they say. Learn to put your ego aside for a number of minutes, or hours, and see the other part of the coin.

You can then see the rationale of the other person's behavior and have the ability to answer a lot of "whys" with "why nots", thereby avoiding many confrontational and painful relationships. No, you cannot solve all the difficulties in life with this stance, but at least, you will be regarded and respected as a more understanding human.

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